So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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