Ambien. No doubt about it.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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