Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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