Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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