Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
