Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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