laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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