Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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