So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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