Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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