She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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