coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
