I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Is Oprah even human
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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