Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
