Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
