They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
