She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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