I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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