Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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