Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He did a backflip because drugs
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
