She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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