Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
