Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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