if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
