When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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