My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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