Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
