My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
