i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize