spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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