There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It's blow job season.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
