3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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