I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
