Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
