we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
