Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
