Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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