He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
