I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
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