And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
