i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
