is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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