why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
