Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.

(612): View more from Minnesota

His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.

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(281): View more from Texas

If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.

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(443): View more from Maryland

We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times

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