she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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