Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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