How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
