hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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