We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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