It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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