If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
