I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
How's work?
Spinning.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
