girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
