I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Randomize
