so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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