He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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