I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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