Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
