so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
