What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
